Tabula Rasa
by DragonKatGal
Summary: *Complete* Willow does her funky magic to make Buffy forget heaven, but a demon attack makes the spell back-fire completely. Buffy/Spike fluffy goodness at the end.
1. Chapter One

BTVS  
  
SETTINGS: Set in Season six, after the Musical when the Gang find out that Buffy was pulled from Heaven instead of from a demon dimension as they suspected. Willow tries to do a spell to make Buffy forget that she was in Heaven, but it backfires (based loosely on Tabula Rasa, but without the gang losing their memory)  
  
ONWARDS:  
  
Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
"Buffy didn't die a natural death. She was killed by mystical energy," Willow explained.  
  
"Tomorrow night, we're bringing Buffy back."  
  
"It just.it feels wrong," Xander said.  
  
"It is wrong," Tara replied calmly. Willow shot her a look, obviously not expecting to have it said so bluntly.  
  
"So one by one, they turn from me. I guess my friends can't face the cold. But why I froze, not one among them knows. And never can be told."  
  
"There was no pain, no fear no doubt, til they pulled me out of heaven. So that's my refrain, I live in hell cause I've been expelled from heaven. I think I was in heaven."  
  
~*~ CHAPTER ONE  
  
Willow lay on her stomach pouring over her magick books, looking desperately for a spell that she could use to help her friend. She didn't care about the consequences, she only cared that her friend would be able to go back to the way she was. Care-free. Or as care-free as one could be when a psychotic hell-god was after their younger sister.  
  
Tara opened the door and her face fell as she saw Willow flicking through the pages of a magick book. She still had yet to confront Willow over the forgetting spell, and she had no intention of letting Willow get away with playing with her memory like that.  
  
"What are you looking for?" Tara asked.  
  
Willow looked up and shrugged vaguely. "Just a spell."  
  
"Forgetting spell?" Tara asked innocently.  
  
Willow nodded and suddenly looked up. "How'd you know that?"  
  
Tara shrugged and looked away inoffensively. "Who's it for? Not for me again, I hope," Tara said.  
  
Willow looked at her, her heart tightening at Tara's words. She sat up, trying to work out how she was going to get out of this one.  
  
"Tara-"  
  
"Willow, how could you do that to me?" Tara asked, the full extent of her hurt coming through in her voice.  
  
"Tara, I'm sorry," Willow started.  
  
"Willow, how could you?"  
  
Willow looked down, tears in her eyes. "I just.I didn't want to fight with you."  
  
"So we talk about it, we sort things out, we work out how we can move on. You can't just make people forget about things like that," Tara said.  
  
"I know.I just.I hate fighting with you. The last time we fought.before.with Glory," Willow said. "I could never forgive myself if something happened to you again."  
  
"Willow, don't you see? There'll be nothing left of me if you keep doing this. I have been to hell and back in the last few months. You say you want to keep me safe, but you meddle with my memory which has been through so much because of what happened with Glory," Tara said angrily.  
  
Tara couldn't believe that she was being so bold about this. The last time they had fought, she had been meek and mild, wanting to know how she could make things better, only this time she knew that the problem here was Willow's power.  
  
And it was frightening, as Tara had told her so many months ago.  
  
"Tara, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have made you forget our fight. It was wrong and stupid and.I'm sorry," Willow said, tears spilling across her cheeks.  
  
Tara softened a little and sat down next to Willow, taking her hand gently.  
  
"Willow, I don't want to fight with you. I just need you to know how dangerous all of this is. Do you know how much damage you can do by playing with someone's memory?" Tara asked.  
  
Willow nodded and wiped her eyes.  
  
"I know. And I am sorry. But."  
  
"No buts," Tara interrupted. "None at all."  
  
Willow looked down, unable to make any promises to her girlfriend about casting any spells. She was going to make Buffy forget about being in heaven if it was the last thing she did. She had to.  
  
It was her own fault for pulling Buffy out of heaven in the fist place, so the only way that Willow could think to make it up to Buffy, besides killing her best friend in order to send her back there, was to make it as though Buffy has never been there in the first place.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy strolled through the cemetery, stopping momentarily to say hello to her mom, and then moving on as she heard noises coming from a crypt not ten meters away from her mother's gravesite.  
  
She groaned as she heard a very distinct British accent coming from inside.  
  
"Are you insane? Don't even try it!" she heard him yell loudly.  
  
As much as she was wanting to avoid Spike after kissing him after the musical spell that had been cast over Sunnydale, she knew that she couldn't live with herself if she found out that he was dusted.  
  
She raced towards the crypt and burst through the door, only to find Spike sitting on the edge of a couch, staring intently at the television.  
  
"B-Buffy," he stammered, standing up quickly and flicking the television off.  
  
She looked at him awkwardly and cleared her throat, trying not to notice the obvious awkward silence that had descended upon them.  
  
"Who were you talking to?" she asked.  
  
He pointed towards the television sheepishly.  
  
"The telly got kind of interesting," he explained. He listened carefully and heard her heart beating faster than usual. "You weren't worried about little old me were you?" he asked smugly.  
  
"What? No!" Buffy exclaimed.  
  
Spike nodded, obviously not believing her. "Right.so you just come bounding in her to save.who?"  
  
"I didn't come here to save you. For all I knew, you could have had some helpless person in here, about to snack on them," Buffy said, unconvincingly.  
  
"Right. Cos that whole chip thing that I've had in for the last two years has just been a passing phase," Spike said sarcastically.  
  
Buffy shrugged and folded her arms across her chest, hating how Spike could make her feel like she was so completely exposed.  
  
Buffy's ears pricked to attention as she heard a cry for help coming from outside. Both Buffy and Spike ran for the door, Spike holding it open so Buffy could run quickly to someone's aid.  
  
She ran towards where a demon was attempting to hold a young man in its grasps. She tackled the demon who let go of his victim to keep from toppling head over heels.  
  
The demon turned to her, growling angrily as the young man ran into the night. She backed up a little, having only a stake at the ready.  
  
She quickly looked around her, trying to find Spike, but not even her vampire senses were picking up on where he was.  
  
The demon pounced forwards, tackling her to the ground, his claws ripping through the skin on her bare arm as her stake hit his lower chest. She cried out in pain and kicked the bleeding demon away from her, looking down to see three gashes in her arms bleeding profusely.  
  
The demon was back on its feet quickly, advancing upon her, grabbing her by her hurt arm and twisting it behind her back quickly. He yanked it upwards and Buffy winced as she heard and felt her arm become disjointed.  
  
The demon threw her into the air, her entire body colliding with a tree and finally crashing down onto the ground, her entire being throbbing with pain. She clutched at her arm, her head becoming dizzy from the blood loss.  
  
She looked up and saw the demon towering over her. Her vision was growing hazy, and suddenly, she just didn't care.  
  
She closed her eyes and waited for its claws to tear into her, its teeth to bite her. She was surprised when she heard the demon cry out in pain, but no longer was the sounds close to her.  
  
She struggled to open her eyes and saw that someone was attacking her attacker. Blonde. Leather. Spike. Through heavy eyelids she saw the demon suddenly turn and run in the opposite direction. Spike went to follow but heard Buffy whimper in pain as she tried to move.  
  
He ran to where she lay, his demon surfacing as he smelt her blood. He quickly controlled it and offered her his hand to help her up. She neither accepted nor declined it. Instead, she sat there, staring blankly past him.  
  
"What, no thank you?" Spike asked.  
  
She looked up at him blankly, as though she was trying to work out why he was still there.  
  
"Come on Slayer, I'll get you to Giles'. You look like you need some patching up," he said, bending down to physically force her into standing up.  
  
She grabbed his arms, trying to hold onto him to get herself standing. As she let go, she felt herself wobble, his hands coming out quickly to steady her.  
  
"Are you okay to walk?" he asked, his concern genuine.  
  
She nodded and began taking small steps. He groaned and quickly lifted her off her feet and into his arms. He shushed her as she protested.  
  
"If we tried to get to Giles' apartment with you walking, we'd be here until tomorrow night. And I don't take too well to sunlight," he said.  
  
She sighed and settled down a little, her body still throbbing with pain. She leant her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, trying not to wince with every jolt of pain he caused just by moving.  
  
"Almost there," she heard him whisper.  
  
She nodded incomprehensively and tried to forget about the pain by thinking that she should feel uncomfortable in his arms. The only problem was, if she hadn't been bleeding to death, this would have felt fairly natural to her.  
  
~*~  
  
Willow tried to focus but couldn't help but feel guilty over practically promising to Tara that she wasn't going to do any more spells. But this spell was too important. She couldn't live with knowing that Buffy knew about being in Heaven.  
  
Her eyes grew heavier and heavier as she continued reading, the information barely registering in her mind. It wasn't until a few words stood out on the page that she finally forced herself to wake up.  
  
'More than the ordinary forgetting spell. Tabula Rasa will erase events from a person's mind completely.'  
  
Willow smiled. She had found it.  
  
She quickly scanned the ingredients and her smile grew as she realised that the spell was within her limits. She would be able to perform it that night.  
  
She scurried around the room, gathering the ingredients, tossing them towards the bed in the middle of the room.  
  
Tiredly she sat down on the ground, preparing the incantation. She read it over quickly, knowing that it would be imperative for her to not make any pronunciation mistakes.  
  
"Let the warrior be set free, From the painful memory, Of being ripped away from peace, Let the hurting thus be ceased. Tabula Rosa, Tabula Rosa." 


	2. Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO  
  
"Giles!" Spike called, barging through the front door to Giles' apartment. He quickly went further into the apartment, gently placing Buffy on the couch. He knelt down next to her, holding her hand gently, stroking it to stop her from whimpering.  
  
Giles bounded down the stairs, surprised to see Spike there.  
  
"What do you want?" Giles asked, annoyed.  
  
Spike stood up and pointed to the bleeding Slayer. "She needs help and I don't have the supplies in my crypt to patch her up," he explained.  
  
Giles stepped forward, his eyes widening as he saw his Slayer lying on the couch, bleeding and unconscious.  
  
He raced towards the bathroom, grabbing his first aid kit. He knelt down next to Buffy and gently wiped off the blood, glad that it had stopped bleeding so abundantly.  
  
"What did this to her?" Giles asked.  
  
"Demon. Nasty bugger. I haven't seen one like that before," Spike said.  
  
"What did it look like?" Giles asked, still trying to concentrate on tending to Buffy's wounds.  
  
"Tall, slimy. Couple of claws. No horns. It was attacking some young bloke, but Buffy pounced on him and the guy got away. I'd say the demon was pretty pissed about losing his supper, so he went for the next best thing," Spike said.  
  
"Would you recognise it if you saw it again?" Giles asked.  
  
Spike nodded and stood up, walking towards where Giles kept his books on demons.  
  
"I'll look, see if I can find anything."  
  
Giles nodded and held a wet washcloth to his Slayer's forehead. He closed his eyes, painfully remembering the night he had been fired from the Council for loving this girl too much. If they thought that his love was a hindrance, they were severely wrong. His love was the only thing keeping their Slayer alive.  
  
________________________  
  
Spike had been looking through books for over six hours, finding no demon that even vaguely resembled the one that had attacked Buffy earlier. Giles was still sitting beside Buffy, trying to keep her rising temperature down.  
  
"I don't understand this," Giles commented. "She's got a fever. She shouldn't.there's no reason for her to be sick after facing a demon."  
  
Spike looked up, paler than usual.  
  
"What?" Giles asked.  
  
"There is reason if this is the demon that attacked her," Spike said, bringing the book towards the Watcher.  
  
Giles took the book from him and began reading.  
  
"Miedstayne," Giles read. "Good lord. But her blood would have had to have mixed with hers for it to have any effect."  
  
"She wasn't the only one to get hurt Rupert. He had a big ole hole in his chest too," Spike said.  
  
"The blood of a Miedstayne flows with ephemeral blood," Giles read. "Ephemeral."  
  
"Short-lived," Spike whispered.  
  
"The demon defends itself with its spilled blood," Giles continued. "That would mean that anytime someone tried to kill this demon, by making it weaker, they're making themselves weaker as well. It's practically impervious to harm."  
  
"I'd say he planned this entire thing. They're smart, those demons," Spike said. "If he knew the Slayer was near, he'd find a person to lure her into his trap."  
  
"He's weakening her defences," Giles said, reading further down the page.  
  
"Leaving her open to everything," Spike said.  
  
Giles rubbed his eyes and tried to calm his thoughts down. All he could think was that he was going to lose his Slayer again.  
  
"So we find a way to stop it. Some protective barrier. A spell," Giles rambled.  
  
"No!" Spike cried.  
  
Giles shot him a look of hatred until Spike began explaining.  
  
"You do some sort of mojo on her, you're likely to kill her. This demon's got power that we can't even begin to conceive. One little word wrong in an incantation and you'll have a dead Slayer on your hands," Spike said. "Again."  
  
Giles nodded and tried to comprehend what was being said.  
  
"What's the cure then?" Giles asked, scanning down the page for more information.  
  
"Killing the demon. The blood would stop having an effect on her. Or else, mixing her blood with a demon that has healing qualities," Spike said.  
  
"Healing qualities?" Giles asked.  
  
"There's a book marked page toward the back that I was looking at. A mohra demon. It's blood flows with eternity. I'm guessing that it would help her," Spike said.  
  
"Which is easier to kill?" Giles asked, his face showing the resolve he had to seek revenge on whatever had hurt his Slayer.  
  
"Your best bet would be the injured Miedstayne. But that one's a bit tricky. If he cuts you, you and the Slayer will be sharing that couch," Spike said.  
  
"Right now, I just want her back," Giles said.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy groaned and rolled over, opening her eyes to see Giles sitting beside her.  
  
She tried to take in her surroundings, but could only tell that she was lying in a bed in a place that looked vaguely familiar.  
  
"Giles?" she whispered tiredly, reaching a hand out to him.  
  
He looked up, a smile springing to his face. "You're awake."  
  
"You're observant," she replied tiredly.  
  
He took her outstretched hand and held it to his cheek, a single tear falling onto one of her knuckles. "You must be feeling better if you're making jokes," he said.  
  
Buffy yawned tiredly and let her eyes fall shut. "What happened? I don't.I don't remember."  
  
"You were attacked last night. Spike saved you," Giles said.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy repeated.  
  
"He brought you here."  
  
She nodded and opened her eyes. "Tell him.tell him I said thanks."  
  
She leant back against the pillow and let herself drift back into oblivion.  
  
Giles stood up and walked down the stairs to see Spike grabbing whatever weapons he could.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Giles asked.  
  
"I'm going to find this thing and kill it. We can't waste time here Rupert, if you don't want her dead, then I suggest you get out of my way and let me hack this Miedstayne to pieces," Spike said.  
  
Giles stood aside, unwilling to stand in Spike's way even though the chip in his head wouldn't allow Spike to injure him without causing some pain. Right now, Giles knew that Spike didn't care about any pain that was inflicted on himself.  
  
Spike went to walk out the door but stopped at Giles voice. "She needs you, you know."  
  
Spike turned to look at the Watcher, confusion in his eyes.  
  
"She doesn't need me."  
  
"She doesn't realise it, but she needs you more than she needs the rest of us. Why do you think she's been coming to you, of all people?" Giles asked. "You're the only one who understands her. If she were to lose you now." he trailed off, not even wanting to think of what would happen to his Slayer.  
  
"You can't get rid of ole Spikey that easily, mate," Spike said. "I'll go, I'll slay, I'll come back. Simple as that."  
  
Giles nodded and let Spike leave. He quickly took the book about the Miedstayne demon upstairs, sat beside Buffy and began to read further about the demons.  
  
________________________  
  
Spike walked quickly through the cemetery where Buffy had been hurt earlier. Spike was trying to track the Miedstayne's blood but all he could smell was the Slayer. Her blood was still on his clothing, and the cemetery was covered in it as well.  
  
He heard something moving in the bushes behind him and quickly went into a fighting stance, his battle axe at the ready.  
  
He ducked into the shadows as he saw the demon that had attacked the Slayer walking slowly out of the bushes. Through the darkness, Spike tried to see if the demon was still hurt. From the way the demon was walking, Spike could tell that it was still sore, but not incapable of inflicting some pain on the blonde vampire.  
  
Spike quickly changed his plans and began following the demon to wherever it was going. It seemed to be returning to where he had defeated the Slayer earlier that night.  
  
He followed silently, curious as to what the demon was doing.  
  
He watched as the Miedstayne bent down to the ground, beneath the tree he had thrown the Slayer against and touch the bloodied earth. Spike could smell the Slayer's blood, and watched in disgust as the Miedstayne touched its fingers to its mouth, taking in the spilt blood.  
  
Suddenly, without warning, the demon turned and stared directly at Spike. Spike froze in his position, the battle axe at the ready. The Miedstayne jumped through the air, landing a few inches in front of Spike.  
  
Spike held up the axe, ready to take the creatures head off, but his wrist was caught by the demon.  
  
"Leave this place," it growled deeply.  
  
"Not bloody likely," Spike replied, grimacing as the pain from his wrist shot through to the rest of his body.  
  
The Miedstayne swiftly lifted Spike off the ground by his wrist, leaving Spike's feet dangling in mid-air.  
  
"You think you can defeat me, vampire? You think you can defeat me when I am almost at full strength?" the demon asked, a sick grin coming across his face. "She will die."  
  
"Not if I can stop that happening," Spike said, his teeth clenched.  
  
The Miedstayne suddenly dropped Spike, sending him sprawling to the ground. The Miedstayne stood over the fallen vampire and spat onto the ground.  
  
"I give her two days. Tops."  
  
With that, the demon walked away, leaving Spike clutching at his wrist.  
  
Resolutely, Spike stood up and slowly made his way back to Giles' hoping that Giles had found something that could be of use.  
  
~*~  
  
"Spike!" Giles yelled as Spike stumbled through the doorway.  
  
Spike nodded and headed straight to the kitchen, opening the freezer and removing whatever ice he could find. He quickly wrapped the ice in a teatowel and placed it gently on his wrist.  
  
"You found the Miedstayne?" Giles asked.  
  
"Found 'im. Didn't quite slay 'im though," Spike said.  
  
Giles placed the book he had been reading in front of Spike and pointed to a passage about halfway down the page.  
  
"No offence, but I'm too buggered to even think about reading something with that many words," Spike said tiredly.  
  
"Well, I'll give you the short version then. The Miedstayne feeds off the blood of the Slayer," Giles explained.  
  
"That's all it feeds off?" Spike asked.  
  
"Only Slayer's blood can sustain the demon. That's why you've probably never seen one like it before. They're a dying breed because not many Slayer's are taken down by the demons. Most Slayers who have fought the Miedstayne were able to defeat the demon before their blood mixed. They killed the demon before it got away," Giles said.  
  
"So why just Slayer's blood? I mean, I know it's extraordinary stuff and all, but.there are a lot more fish in the sea," Spike said.  
  
"It's their blood," Giles said. "They're blood is basically the same. A Slayer has ephemeral blood. They never usually live past twenty, and if they do.Slayer's weren't designed to live past their twenty-fifth birthday- " he trailed off, not wanting to continue his explanation.  
  
"Are you telling me that once a Slayer gets to twenty-five, she just croaks?"  
  
Giles nodded. "I wouldn't have said it so vulgarly, but yes. Slayers die at twenty five."  
  
"How? I mean.why?" Spike stuttered, disgusted that a Slayer could be killed off just because she had survived.  
  
"It's only ever happened a few times," Giles said. "Their bodies just give up. A lot of Slayer's lose their will to live, and.some of them have killed themselves. Gone out to fight without a weapon and let the demons just take them. But, even if they wanted to live.a Slayer's body wasn't meant to last that long. It shuts down and.they eventually die. It acts like a cancer, but.there's no stopping it."  
  
Spike looked at Giles in disgust. "These girls save the bloody world more times than anyone knows and their thanks is being bloody killed off. The Powers certainly have a sick sense of justice."  
  
Giles nodded and looked towards the sleeping Slayer.  
  
"I wish Willow had just left her where she was," Giles admitted softly.  
  
Spike looked up sharply and saw that Giles was looking older than his years, more tired than anyone should look. He glanced towards the Slayer who was tossing fitfully in her sleep and nodded.  
  
"She deserves better than this. She doesn't deserve to be killed by some bloody demon. Her death was.it was noble and brave and.as much as I'd like to say I hate Willow for bringing her back, at the same time I've never been happier in my life," Spike said.  
  
Giles nodded and put his book down, wishing that the answers would just come to him without the effort of research.  
  
"When I lost her the first time, I was so bloody scared that she would just give up, but.she didn't. And now she's back again, I don't know how much longer she can take."  
  
"The first time?" Spike asked.  
  
Giles looked at the blonde vampire, a little distracted by his own thoughts to register that the vampire had asked him a question.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, she uh.she was killed by the Master five years ago. He drowned her, but.luckily Xander was there and.he was able to revive her."  
  
"Which is why there's two Slayers. That makes sense."  
  
Giles nodded and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "You should probably get home, get some sleep. If you could come by tomorrow, hopefully we'll have something a little more conclusive."  
  
Spike nodded and stood up. "I should head to the Summer's home, the Nibblet's there by herself. I know she's worried about the Slayer not coming back."  
  
Giles nodded gratefully, having completely forgotten about Dawn being at home by herself. "Yes.thank you."  
  
Spike went to the door and looked back at Buffy who was whimpering a little as she slept. "Call if there's any change."  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy opened her eyes tiredly and looked up at Giles.  
  
"Giles?"  
  
Giles looked at her and smiled through his worry.  
  
"Do you want something? Water, food?"  
  
She shook her head and looked at him, her eyes looking as though she were trying to remember something that had escaped her memory.  
  
"What is it?" Giles whispered, kneeling beside her. He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.  
  
"Is Dawn safe?" she whispered.  
  
"Spike's taking care of her."  
  
Buffy smiled with relief and closed her eyes. "Good.he promised me.earlier tonight. Til the end of the world."  
  
Giles looked at her in confusion. Had Spike been patrolling with her? Had she made him promise when she had fallen?  
  
"Not a monster," Buffy whispered, Giles only just making out the words that made little sense to him.  
  
He shook his head and reached for a notepad, writing down what she had said.  
  
Giles could only watch helplessly as his Slayer fell back into a restless sleep, whimpering occasionally. It wasn't until she woke up in fright that Giles raced to her side, his arms going around her small body.  
  
"What is it?" he whispered, pushing a strand of sweat soaked hair from her face.  
  
"I have to go to her, she's got my sister!" Buffy cried, struggling to get away from Giles.  
  
She pushed him aside and tried to stand, but her legs collapsed from underneath her, sending her sprawling to the ground. She tried to scramble to her feet, but Giles held her back, helping her onto the couch.  
  
"Who's got Dawn?"  
  
"Glory!" Buffy yelled. "She's got her, I have to save her!"  
  
Giles shook his head, holding Buffy's hands together with one of his own, surprised by how weak his Slayer was.  
  
"Your sister's safe, Spike's with her. Glory's gone, she's dead. We defeated her," Giles said.  
  
Buffy refused to listen and struggled against him. Giles sighed and reached for the glass of water on the coffee table, trying to force Buffy to take small sips. Reluctantly, she swallowed, knowing that Giles wouldn't let go until he was satisfied.  
  
She felt her eyes beginning to droop and she looked at him hatefully.  
  
"If you hurt her, I'll kill you," she whispered before falling back into a dream-filled sleep.  
  
Giles stood up, running a tired hand through his hair, wondering what was happening to her. He reached for his notebook and jotted down everything she had said, reminded painfully of the threat she had issued him when he had said he would willingly sacrifice Dawn if it meant that the world would be saved.  
  
He sighed and took a seat on the couch opposite Buffy, his eyes closing to rest for a moment before sleep overtook his body.  
  
________________________  
  
He awoke with a start and looked to where Buffy was curled in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth.  
  
He raced to her, hugging her body to his, letting her rock them both back and forth. "Buffy what is it?"  
  
She looked at him blankly, tears streaming down her face. "My mom.Giles, my mom."  
  
She turned her head inwards and cried openly into her Watcher's shirt, feeling the weight of the world falling on her shoulders. He couldn't understand what was happening. He hadn't heard her mention her mother in the longest time, but.he supposed that being taken care of in the manner that he was caring for her was reminding her of the mother that had been so cruelly ripped away from her.  
  
"It's okay Buffy.it'll be okay," he whispered.  
  
She shook her head and gripped him tightly. "Have to.tell Dawn.she's at school.she has to know."  
  
Giles felt his heart tighten. She wasn't upset that her mother wasn't here. She was upset because she believed her mother had just died.  
  
"She knows.Buffy, she knows."  
  
All he could do was rock her back and forth until his Slayer drifted back to sleep once more.  
  
He sighed and rubbed his eyes, wishing that he knew what was happening to her. 


	3. Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE  
  
Dawn wiped the sleep from her eyes and tiredly stepped into the kitchen, slightly surprised to see the blonde vampire sitting at the kitchen bench, a worried look on his face.  
  
"Spike, hey. What's up?" she greeted, her tiredness evident in her voice. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
Spike looked at Dawn and tried to give a small grin, the look on his face making Dawn's heart seize with terror.  
  
"Where's my sister?" she demanded.  
  
Spike hesitated for a moment, but decided that Dawn needed the truth. "She was attacked by something last night. Nasty demon type."  
  
"But she's okay, right? It's serious, but.she's okay?" Dawn asked, tears coming to her eyes.  
  
Spike could only shrug a little. "I don't know Nibblet. Rupert's taking care of 'er," he said.  
  
Dawn had raced out the door before Spike had a chance to stop her. He swore loudly, unable to follow her into the daylight as the young girl raced towards the Watcher's apartment.  
  
________________________  
  
"Giles!"  
  
Giles looked up and saw Dawn standing at the door to his apartment, breathless and looking completely terrified.  
  
"Dawn," he greeted softly. He motioned for her to be quiet, and hesitantly Dawn made her way over to where her sister lay on the couch of Giles living room.  
  
"Is she." Dawn trailed off, not knowing exactly what she wanted to ask of her sister's Watcher.  
  
"She's alright. She's.she falls in and out of consciousness."  
  
Dawn knelt down beside her sister's pale body, reminded horribly of the night her sister had died in order to save the world, and to save Dawn from having to die a horrible death.  
  
Dawn gently touched her sister's arm where the demon had cut her. In her sleep, Buffy flinched a little in pain, and Dawn immediately drew back her hand, hating that she had caused some sort of pain.  
  
"She'll be okay, right?" Dawn asked.  
  
Giles nodded softly, hoping that he wasn't lying to the young girl who had already lost so much in her life.  
  
"I'll make sure she's alright."  
  
Dawn nodded and let two tears fall down her cheeks. All she could do was sit and watch as her sister drifted in and out of sleeping.  
  
At times, Buffy was calm, asking for a glass of water, or to see Giles or Dawn. It wasn't until Dawn heard Buffy ask for the impossible that Dawn began getting beyond worried.  
  
"Giles," Buffy had whispered, her voice strained and incredibly soft.  
  
Giles had taken her by the hand and had leant close to the Slayer.  
  
"What is it?" he whispered.  
  
"Can you.tell.tell mom that I'm sorry I can't be there with her.She's.she's got a CAT scan today. Can you.make sure.Dawn, she's.make sure Dawn's okay," Buffy said.  
  
Giles cast a worried glance towards Dawn who had stood up and moved away from where her sister lay, unsure of what to make of what Buffy had just said.  
  
"Dawn will be fine," Giles whispered, gently running a wet washcloth over Buffy's face. "I'll make sure she's safe."  
  
Buffy nodded and closed her eyes again, hating that she was so weak, but letting her body take the rest that it was aching for.  
  
Giles closed his eyes and stood up, moving towards the kitchen. He silently removed his glasses and wiped away the tears that were welling in his eyes. He was losing her and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.  
  
Dawn hovered in the doorway, watching as Giles recomposed himself. She coughed lightly, letting him now she was there.  
  
"She doesn't remember." Dawn said softly. "Why can't she remember?"  
  
Giles could only shake his head, unable to give an answer.  
  
"I don't know Dawn. I really don't know."  
  
~*~  
  
Willow sat in the dorm, spell books strewn around her. Tara was long gone and Willow couldn't say for sure if Tara would ever come back.  
  
She wiped a stray tear from her eyes and looked again at the spell she had cast earlier. It had taken a lot of her energy in order to cast the spell, and she had been weary when she had been casting it.  
  
She looked back at the description of the spell and read through it again, checking to make sure that it had been a safe spell to use on the Slayer. She smiled, thanking the higher powers that nothing had gone wrong.  
  
With a new burst of energy, Willow stood up, grabbed her shoulder bag and decided to make her way to the Magic Box to see if the spell had taken effect already.  
  
________________________  
  
The bell to the Magic Box rang and Anya looked up, giving a small smile to the redhead who walked in.  
  
"Hey Anya," Willow called. "Is Buffy here?"  
  
Anya looked at her and shook her head. "Giles called earlier. He said that he and Buffy were at his apartment. God only knows what they're doing though."  
  
Willow nodded and gave a parting wave. "Thanks."  
  
Anya looked back down at the wedding magazine that she had been so engrossed in before Willow had interrupted her train of thought.  
  
________________________  
  
Giles stood up and moved to the door as he heard a demanding pounding on the door. For a moment, he thought it might have been Spike, and answered the door hurriedly lest the vampire suddenly combust from the sunlight.  
  
He smiled as he saw Willow standing at the door, a grin on her face.  
  
"Hiya Giles," she greeted.  
  
He nodded his hello, silently told her to keep her voice down and ushered her inside.  
  
"What's wrong? Why are we been quiet?" she asked softly.  
  
She looked around the room and saw Dawn curled up on the couch.  
  
"Dawnie!" she cried, still keeping her voice somewhat quieter. Dawn looked up at Willow and tried to give a small smile.  
  
Giles lay a gentle hand on Willow's shoulder to get her attention.  
  
"Something happened last night during Buffy's patrol," Giles said.  
  
Willow felt her heart rise up in her throat, the beating suddenly becoming loud and fast.  
  
"Buffy was attacked by a fairly fierce demon and.it made her fairly ill," he explained.  
  
"Ill? How can a demon make someone sick?" Willow asked.  
  
Giles picked up the ancient book from his desk and gave it to the young girl.  
  
"Ephemeral blood. I don't understand."  
  
"The Miedstayne demon feeds off Slayer's blood, but if the demons blood combines with the Slayer's, she'll.it's almost as though she's having the life drained out of her. Her defences are weakened, which means she's vulnerable to anything that anyone throws her. From.a common cold to ah.to powerfully dark magick."  
  
Giles missed the look of panic that crossed Willow's face.  
  
"But.there's a cure, right?" Willow asked.  
  
Giles nodded and readjusted his glasses. "Killing the demon will effectively mean his blood is dead, it wouldn't have an effect on Buffy. Or else, a different demon, a Mohra demon, it's blood has healing qualities."  
  
Giles saw the panicked look in the young girls eyes.  
  
"Spike went looking for the demon last night, he'll go again tonight."  
  
"Could we try something.a protection spell maybe?" Willow asked.  
  
Giles shook his head. "At this point it'd hurt her even more."  
  
Willow went to say something else, but stopped when she heard Buffy cry out as though she were in pain. Giles was at Buffy's side in seconds, his hands going to Buffy's shoulders, trying to keep her on the couch.  
  
"Buffy it's okay, I'm right here," Giles said.  
  
Buffy shook her head wildly and struggled against him. "I have to stop him, he'll leave if I don't."  
  
"Who'll leave?" Giles asked.  
  
"Riley! He'll leave. I have to tell him.I have to get to him. Let me go!" she cried, pushing him violently away. He let go, trying to regain his balance and Buffy was on shaky feet within seconds.  
  
Giles stood and tried to stop Buffy from leaving.  
  
"Buffy, you can't go out there, it's not safe. You have to sit down. I'll make sure he gets the message," he said, trying to get Buffy to sit down.  
  
Giles looked frantically at Willow and pointed to a box that was lying on the table. Willow pointed to it and when Giles nodded, she handed it to him, surprised by the hypodermic needle that Giles pulled out from small box.  
  
Willow raced to Buffy's side to try and keep her still while Giles administered the injection.  
  
Buffy struggled when she saw the needle in Giles' hand, pushing him away. Willow grabbed Buffy's hands to still them, surprised that she was able to overpower the usually strong Slayer.  
  
Giles quickly gave her the injection and gently sat her down on the couch, Buffy struggling not to close her eyes.  
  
"You have to.to tell him.he doesn't know.I have to tell him."  
  
Sleep overcame her and she fell forward limply in Giles' arms. He sighed softly and laid her back down on the couch.  
  
Willow looked towards Giles who was trembling with a combination of fear and worry.  
  
"Giles?" she whispered.  
  
Giles looked up at her, silently pleading with her not to ask him anything he wasn't willing to answer.  
  
She let a single tear slip down her face before turning and walking out of the living room into the kitchen where she promptly burst into tears.  
  
~*~  
  
Sunset came and Giles looked up to see Spike at his front door, worried expression still on his face.  
  
"How is she?" he whispered.  
  
Giles just shook his head, telling the vampire that there was no change, and, if anything, Buffy was getting worse.  
  
"I had a squiz around the cemetery and.I couldn't see him. It looks as though the bastard's gone into hiding. I think he's gonna wait for a few more days before he tries anything again," Spike said.  
  
Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
  
"There's something else," Giles said.  
  
Spike looked at him, waiting for Giles to continue.  
  
"She seems to.it's almost as though she's losing her memory," Giles said.  
  
"What do you mean? She got roughed up pretty badly, of course she's not gonna remember what happened," Spike said.  
  
Giles shook his head and looked towards the sleeping Slayer. "Every time she wakes up, she's.she struggles and she yells out about someone she has to save."  
  
"And?"  
  
"She cried out for Dawn first, saying that Glory had her. Then she cried out about her mother dying, then about her mother's CAT scan. She woke up about twenty minutes ago, sobbing because Riley was about to leave her," Giles said.  
  
"But Riley left-"  
  
"Almost a year ago, I know."  
  
Spike glanced towards Buffy who was tossing in her sleep. "The demon shouldn't be able to do that to her. I've seen what he can do, and.it's not that."  
  
Giles nodded and sat down at his desk, pulling the book on the demon in front of him.  
  
"I've spent the last few hours trying to work out what would be causing the memory loss, but.I couldn't come up with anything at all," Giles said.  
  
"What if it was another spell? Something that someone else had tried. Miedstayne's only come out of hiding every few decades, and.if they heard that the demon was gonna try and off the Slayer, they'd want a piece of it. What better way to get the Slayer vulnerable than to take away her memory of being a Slayer?" Spike asked.  
  
Giles looked pensive for a moment and stood up, going to his bookcase to retrieve another book.  
  
"There aren't many spells that would work like this though. I can't think of any that would take away her memory piece by piece. Memory charms are usually.well, they work rather quickly," Giles said.  
  
"Unless it was botched," Spike said.  
  
Giles nodded thoughtfully and looked towards the door to his bathroom where he could hear Willow weeping loudly. Spike followed his gaze and recognised the sounds of the young witch crying.  
  
"You don't think-"  
  
Without hesitation, Giles strode towards the door, opening it with a crash.  
  
"Anything you want to say Willow?" he asked harshly, knowing that if his suspicions were wrong, he would pay dearly for them.  
  
Willow looked up at him, tears streaking her face, her eyes completely red.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered.  
  
Giles felt his heart give a jolt, and his hand was clasped roughly around her wrist within seconds, dragging her painfully to her feet. He didn't let go, even though she was protesting loudly.  
  
"What did you do?" he yelled angrily.  
  
Spike watched on, unsure of what would happen. He had seen Giles angry before, had been witness to the burning of the factory when Angelus had killed Jenny Calendar. He had seen Giles tolerance of pain, and he had also heard that when his Slayer was threatened, he would do anything to put it to rights.  
  
Willow wrenched her wrist away from Giles painful grip and raced past him, slamming into Spike's chest. He held her softly, not letting her go.  
  
He looked into her eyes and suddenly understood what the young witch had tried to do. He had seen her reaction to finding out that Buffy had been pulled from heaven.  
  
"You tried to make her forget, didn't you?" he asked, soft accusation in his voice.  
  
Willow could only nod and burst into another bout of sobs. He held her uncomfortably and tried to calm her down. He looked over her shoulder at Giles who looked fit to be tied.  
  
Spike gently sat Willow down on the seat where Giles had previously been and stepped aside to let Giles take over.  
  
"I honestly don't know what you were thinking," Giles started, keeping his angry voice barely above a whisper, "but you have seriously put her in danger by casting such a foolish spell on her."  
  
"It wasn't meant-"  
  
"I don't care what it was meant to do!" he cried. "Who are you to try and take away her memories? Apart from being extremely foolish and selfish, it is also extremely dangerous. Willow, Buffy is the Slayer, without her memories she is in grave danger. And not only is she the Slayer, but she is meant to be your best friend. How dare you think that you can play God and fool around with her memory?"  
  
"I just wanted things back to how they were," Willow pleaded.  
  
Spike suddenly stepped in, glaring at the woman he used to be so fond of.  
  
"She's trying 'er best to get things back to the way they were," Spike cried. "Why couldn't you just give 'er some time?"  
  
"I'm sorry okay!" Willow yelled, standing up. "It wasn't meant to take away every memory, only that one!"  
  
Giles went to say something more, Spike a little more than afraid that the usually composed man may try and strike the young with, but everything was interrupted by a shout from the living room coming from Buffy.  
  
Giles just glared at Willow as he pushed past her, silently telling her that they weren't anywhere near done.  
  
~*~ "Buffy, it's alright, I'm here," he whispered, taking her in his arms. For someone who usually showed very little emotion, nor used physical proximity as a way of comfort, Giles wasn't hesitating when it came to calming down his distraught Slayer.  
  
"The monks," Buffy whispered softly.  
  
She was struggling to keep her eyes open, but Giles held her head still in his hands, trying to get her to focus her eyes on his.  
  
"What about them Buffy?" he asked gently.  
  
Tears streamed down her face, her breaths coming in short shallow gasps.  
  
"They.oh god, Giles.the Key.it's Dawn. You can't tell anyone, not.not even the guys cos.they can't know," she said softly.  
  
"It's alright Buffy. She's safe. You're safe here, I promise," he whispered, stroking her hair gently.  
  
"Have to.keep it from Dawn. Love her.she's."  
  
Buffy didn't get out the rest of her sentence before she passed out once more. Giles laid her back down gently and wiped the tears from Buffy's cheeks with a gentle thumb.  
  
He stood up and looked towards Dawn who was still huddled in a corner, keeping a constant vigil over her sister.  
  
"She'll be okay, right?" Dawn whispered as Giles caught her gaze.  
  
Giles could only sigh and close his eyes. "We're doing everything we can to help her."  
  
Dawn nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. She watched as Giles went back into the bathroom where Spike was gently holding Willow's hair back as the young witch threw up into the toilet bowl.  
  
Giles walked to the sink and filled a glass with water, handing it to Willow who took it and swallowed tiny sips of water.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.  
  
Giles nodded, a little calmer than he had been earlier.  
  
"I'm not going to tell you it's alright, because I'd be lying to you. But I am going to get you to come outside, sit down and you're going to tell me exactly what spell you were using," Giles ordered.  
  
Willow nodded and tried to swallow some more water without throwing it all back up again. She stood up on shaky feet and let Spike help her into the other room.  
  
A wash of guilt swept over her as she saw her best friend lying on Giles' couch, her skin pale and wet from sweating. Giles had been right. She had had no right to attempt any sort of spell on her friend like that, no matter how much it hurt her for Buffy to hate her.  
  
Willow took a seat at Giles' table and pulled out Giles' copy of the book she had been using. She opened it to the page that she had been using and passed it to Giles.  
  
He took it from her without a word and read the incantation. He looked up at her in disbelief.  
  
"You used a Tabula Rasa spell on Buffy?" he asked incredulously.  
  
Willow nodded, hating every second of this, hating that she was the cause of so much pain. She should have listened to Tara.  
  
Giles clenched his fist, his knuckles turning white. Spike immediately positioned himself between the Watcher and the witch.  
  
"What is it?" Spike asked softly, trying to deflect all attention from the witch onto himself, unsure of why he was doing so, but wanting to do it nonetheless.  
  
Giles shoved the book at the blonde vampire. "Read for yourself."  
  
Spike took the book and read the spell, not entirely understanding.  
  
"Ripped from peace," Giles said. "If the demon hadn't have attacked, then the spell would have only taken the one memory, of Buffy literally being ripped from peace, but."  
  
"But the demon's opened her up to bloody everything under the sun, so the spell's going back even further," Spike finished.  
  
Giles nodded. "I can only presume that it will go back to when she was fourteen."  
  
"Fourteen?" Willow whispered.  
  
Spike caught on immediately. "Before she was the Slayer. Of course.she woulda been a helluva lot more peaceful when she weren't slaying. Makes sense."  
  
Giles closed his eyes and rubbed them tiredly. He reached for his notebook that lay on the table and went to write in Buffy's latest memories, unsure of why he was still writing them down, but writing them nonetheless.  
  
Spike looked over Giles' shoulder and saw the latest entry about the monks. A sudden horrifying thought came to him.  
  
"If her memory's going backwards an' all, is.she's gonna remember the nibblet, right?" Spike asked, his voice daring to go no louder than a whisper so that Dawn wouldn't hear his query.  
  
Giles looked towards where Dawn was now sleeping on the couch.  
  
"I hadn't thought of that," Giles admitted. "The memories that the monks gave us all are superficial. They're not our real memories. But, the memories do stem back fourteen years. She may very well remember her sister."  
  
Spike nodded and tried not to think about the memories that would come back as Buffy remembered less and less. They hadn't exactly been on the best of terms, especially when he had been trying to kill her for three years.  
  
A thought occurred to Spike suddenly as he remembered that he hadn't told Giles all of what the Miedstayne demon had said to him.  
  
"Rupert," Spike said softly.  
  
Giles looked up at the worried vampire and felt his heart sink.  
  
"Last night, when.when I met that demon bloke. He uh.he kinda gave her a time limit," Spike said.  
  
Giles eyes darkened with fear. "What do you mean?"  
  
"He said that.that she only has two days."  
  
Giles closed his eyes and tried to remember how to breathe.  
  
"Then we have to kill it before it kills her." 


	4. Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR  
  
There was a knock at the door just before the sun was about to go down. Giles stood up tiredly to open the door and gave a quick glance towards Buffy who was still tossing and turning on the couch.  
  
He had considered moving her upstairs to his bed but Spike had told him it would be easier to move her if they needed to while she was still downstairs.  
  
Giles opened the door and saw Xander and Anya standing there, hand-in-hand, Tara standing a few feet behind them. He motioned for them to come in, and the three of them immediately noticed the still silence in the room.  
  
Xander was the first to see Buffy sleeping on the couch, Spike sitting beside her, a wet wash cloth to her forehead.  
  
"What happened?" Xander asked quickly.  
  
Giles sighed, wishing he didn't have to tell the complete story but knowing that he would have to anyway.  
  
"Buffy was attacked last night by a rather ferocious demon. Some of it's blood infected her-"  
  
"You mean like those mind reading demons when we were in high school?" Xander asked.  
  
Giles shook his head. "No, nothing like that. These demons.they come out of hiding every ten years to.to feed on the blood of a Slayer. Most other Slayers tend to fare a little bit better than Buffy did I'm afraid."  
  
Anya looked on in shock. "But.Buffy's unbeatable. Well, except for hellgods, and that really old Master guy but, apart from that."  
  
"It seems that th-the demon is weakening her defences. Making her weaker and weaker until he can feed on her without her putting up much of a fight. The only way to cure what Buffy's going through is to kill the demon," Giles explained.  
  
"Alright then, avengers assemble," Xander said without hesitation. "We find this demon, kill it and Buffy gets better."  
  
Spike glared at Xander and shook his head. "S'not that simple mate."  
  
"The demon seems to be.rather brutal. If neither Buffy nor Spike could defeat it, I rather think that none of us will stand much of a chance," Giles said.  
  
Willow went to suggest a spell, but quickly opted not to say anything regarding magic, especially in Giles' presence.  
  
"Well, what about a spell of some sort?" Xander asked.  
  
Willow winced, hating that Xander and she were still on the same wavelength at times.  
  
Giles cast a look at Willow who could only look away.  
  
"Willow won't be performing any more magic," Giles said, his voice showing that he wasn't going to waver on his stance.  
  
Tara looked towards her girlfriend worriedly.  
  
"Oookay," Xander said. "Which begs the question, why?"  
  
Giles was silently seething. Spike looked up from his position of tending to Buffy.  
  
"Red cast a spell that backfired," he explained.  
  
Tara glared towards Willow who refused to meet her gaze.  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" Anya muttered under her breath.  
  
Willow glared at the ex-demon and tried to blink back tears.  
  
There was a silence that followed and Xander finally choked under the tension.  
  
"There's more about Buffy's condition than you're telling us," Xander said.  
  
Giles nodded and removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
"The demon that did this to Buffy is opening up her defences, leaving her vulnerable to everything, especially to dark magic of any sort," Giles said.  
  
Tara looked towards Willow, aghast. "You used a spell on Buffy?"  
  
Willow shook her head. "I didn't know this was going to happen! I was just trying to make things better," Willow protested.  
  
"I don't get it, what spell?" Xander asked.  
  
Giles looked towards Willow, wanting her to explain her folly in all of this.  
  
"It was a memory spell," Willow finally whispered. "I was just trying to make her happier."  
  
Xander looked at his best friend in shock. When had she got so completely selfish?  
  
"No you weren't," Xander accused, his voice becoming tinged with bitterness.  
  
"Xander," Giles said sharply.  
  
"Giles, I'm sorry, but.Willow, you weren't doing this for her and you know it. You just hated that she couldn't look at you. At any of us. You hated that she hated us. Well, newsflash Will," Xander said, his voice nearly becoming a yell, "It hurt all of us, but we have to deal. We made a mistake, and she was trying dammit! She was trying so hard for us, but you couldn't leave it alone."  
  
Xander stopped himself before he went into an all out rage. He would have as well, but he knew it wouldn't help the situation at all.  
  
He looked towards Giles and offered a silent apology which was immediately accepted.  
  
"So, what are our options?"  
  
Giles was silent for a moment, trying to think of a way to save Buffy from a third death.  
  
"Rupert," Spike began softly. Giles looked up at the vampire who looked extremely hesitant about what he was about to say.  
  
"I know you hate 'im as much as I do, probably more, but.Angel could be our best hope," Spike said.  
  
Giles nodded slowly. "I'll call him."  
  
~*~  
  
The group stood uncomfortably in Giles' living room, none of them able to hear what Giles was saying softly on the phone.  
  
All eyes in the room were trained on the fitfully sleeping Slayer.  
  
She suddenly shot up on the couch, startling everyone in the room. Spike automatically went to her, holding onto her tightly. The compound that Giles had given her was still working, making her have the strength of a normal person.or a normal sick person at least.  
  
"You're alright, pet," Spike whispered.  
  
She struggled against him violently.  
  
"Get away from me!" she cried, trying to get out of his grasp. She tried to kick him away, but he wouldn't let go.  
  
"Giles!" she cried, tears streaming down her face.  
  
Spike let go, wondering how much farther back her memory had gone.  
  
Giles had heard Buffy's cry and had dropped the phone, racing towards the living room and gathering the crying Slayer in his arms.  
  
"Shhh, it's okay. No one's going to hurt you."  
  
"But Spike.he's.he's evil. He could.he can hurt you. Don't let.don't let him hurt you. He's.chip but.he's evil. He.hurts.don't want to hurt people," she said, trying to speak coherently through her sobs.  
  
Spike could only close his eyes in pain. Her memory was going back quickly, if she was forgetting that he wasn't evil anymore. Which meant that within a few hours, she would forget that he couldn't harm anyone even if he wanted to.  
  
"I'm safe Buffy. He won't hurt me."  
  
Buffy nodded, somehow accepting the answer. She closed her eyes again and leant herself on his shoulder. He gently kissed her forehead and rocked back and forth as though he was cradling a small child in his arms.  
  
He laid her back down on the couch and looked towards Xander who immediately shot towards where Buffy lay and took over Giles' job of tending to Buffy.  
  
Giles walked back into the kitchen and quickly told the vampire who had stayed on the other end of the phone to hurry before he hung up the phone.  
  
He walked back into the living room and glanced apologetically at Spike.  
  
"I'm sorry, but-"  
  
"I should go," Spike finished. He nodded sadly and shrugged into his jacket. "Give us a yell as soon as you find out anything. I'll be demon hunting tonight so.with any luck I'll find the bugger and kill 'im."  
  
Giles gave a small smile and sat down on the couch next to Buffy, shifting her so that her head was resting in his lap. She gave a contented sigh and nestled further into him.  
  
There was silence as Spike walked dejectedly outside, thankful that Buffy had chosen a moment just after sunset to forget that he was harmless.  
  
Xander looked up at Giles and sighed. He didn't know any other ways to help Buffy or to help Giles either.  
  
"Can we do anything?" Xander asked.  
  
Giles shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not. A-Angel will be coming from LA, he said he'd be here in the morning. He's bringing Wesley and another friend of his with him as well. He assures me that they're more than capable."  
  
"Wesley? As in, touch-me-with-a-feather-and-I-jump-and-scream-like-a-woman Wesley?" Xander asked.  
  
Giles nodded. "Apparently he's a rather good fighter."  
  
Xander shrugged. "Well, Wes did live on the hellmouth for a while I suppose."  
  
There was silence once more. Tara looked around uncomfortably. She hated the fact that Willow had cast such a stupid spell on her best friend knowing that it was dangerous and extremely self-centred. Tara needed to get out of there soon before she exploded at her girlfriend in front of the group that had accepted her unconditionally.  
  
Buffy had known absolutely nothing about her, except that she might have been a potential threat and even then, Buffy hadn't hesitated to defend her so completely against Tara's father. Even though Tara had found a girlfriend in Willow, she had found something of a kindred soul in Buffy.  
  
"Mr Giles, if you don't n-need me here, I'm gonna go."  
  
Giles nodded softly and gave the girl a smile. "Of course. I'll keep you updated."  
  
Tara nodded and looked down at Buffy. She gently touched the sleeping Slayer's forehead.  
  
"Peace," she whispered.  
  
Buffy seemed to stop tossing for a moment before her body relaxed completely, falling into a restful sleep.  
  
Giles looked up at Tara in surprise and smiled genuinely for the first time in days. "Thank you."  
  
Tara nodded and walked out the door, aware that Willow's eyes were on her as she walked away. She didn't look back.  
  
~*~  
  
There was a knock at the door and Xander sprang to his feet, not wanting Giles to stand in case he disturbed the sleep that Buffy was getting. She had slept fitfully through the night, waking up intermittently, screaming out her fears for a certain person that had gone through problems so many years ago. It had frightened the group to see how much Buffy had taken on over the course of a few years.  
  
Some of the things she had battled the group had never known about, and none of the group had ever really considered how much she had taken the incidents to heart. How much she had blamed herself for everything that had happened to the group.  
  
The sun had come up nearly an hour ago, each of the group looking worse for wear. Giles had told them to leave, but, none of them were willing to leave Buffy's side. Giles' hadn't had the heart to force them away.  
  
Xander opened the door and stepped back as a blanket-wearing Angel rushed past him out of the sunlight. Wesley, Cordelia and a young man that Xander had never met before walked in behind him.  
  
Xander smiled as he saw his ex-girlfriend walked in.  
  
"It's good to see you Cor," he whispered.  
  
She took him completely by surprise and enveloped him in a hug. He hugged her back and ushered her in.  
  
"Xander, this is Gunn. Gunn, meet Xander, the only person to think that Hawaiian shirts are still in," Cordelia said, a smile playing across her face.  
  
Xander grinned at her and shook Gunn's hand. "It's nice to know that's some things never change."  
  
"Angel," Giles greeted.  
  
Angel returned the greeting and cast his attention towards Buffy. "How is she?"  
  
"Still in pain. Her fever doesn't seem to be diminishing, and.her memories are getting worse," Giles said.  
  
"You said it was a Miedstayne demon," Wesley said, coming up behind Giles to peer down at the Slayer. He gently put his hand to her forehead, feeling for her temperature.  
  
"She's certainly got the symptoms of the demon, but.I don't understand why her memory is receding. That's never happened to any other Slayers," Wesley stated.  
  
"This has happened to other Slayers?" Xander asked.  
  
Giles nodded. "The demon only feeds on Slayer's blood. But usually the demon will be killed in battle as well, meaning that the Slayer's don't go through what Buffy's going through. They'll just feel something like the flu come over them for about an hour after the demon dies."  
  
"I don't understand how the demon got away," Cordelia stated, taking a seat next to Willow. "Why couldn't she kill the demon?"  
  
Giles looked gently at his Slayer, tears coming to his eyes. "I don't know that she wanted to."  
  
No one in the room moved, everyone seemed to be holding their breath, waiting for a pin to drop in the room. After Buffy's confession of being in heaven, the group didn't question her death wish. They had tried to ignore it, deny it, but they found that it was still hard to grasp when being spoken about aloud.  
  
Buffy stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes tiredly.  
  
Giles looked down at her and helped her to sit up. She looked around the room, her eyes seeming to be focused a little more than they had been in her past awakenings.  
  
"Angel?" she whispered.  
  
Angel stepped forward and touched a cold hand to her burning skin. She leant into it, craving the cold that was bringing a wonderful amount of comfort.  
  
"I'm here Buffy," he whispered.  
  
She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. She leant her head to his chest, pressing her ear over his unbeating heart.  
  
She looked up at him in confusion. "It's gone," she whispered.  
  
"What's gone?" he asked.  
  
"Your heartbeat. It's not there. It was there! I heard it!" she cried.  
  
Angel looked at her, astounded. How had she remembered their twenty four hours together with him as a human being?  
  
"It's okay Buffy. It wasn't meant to be," he said, trying to calm her down.  
  
"No you were.it was good, remember? You could.we could.without the curse! You were alive!" she said, her small fists pounding on his chest as if to try and restart his heart once more.  
  
Giles pulled her gently away from Angel who stood up and took a step back, trying to ignore the looks that he was getting from everyone around him.  
  
"Buffy," he whispered.  
  
She looked at him, her eyes becoming cloudy once more, staring at him as though she was desperate for answers.  
  
"Is Xander.he's okay, right?" she asked.  
  
Xander looked up, startled at hearing his name on the Slayer's lips. He couldn't understand why Buffy would ask about him, especially after just saying something about Angel having a heartbeat.  
  
"He's fine Buffy," Giles answered.  
  
Buffy nodded and let herself be pulled back onto the couch, her head resting on Giles lap again. She couldn't help but close her eyes as she felt Giles gently stroking her hair.  
  
Giles sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
  
"Giles, it's getting worse," Xander whispered. "She's remembering things that have never happened."  
  
Angel coughed uncomfortably.  
  
"No.they happened," the brooding vampire admitted.  
  
The entire room turned to look at him, surprised by his confession.  
  
"I had a heartbeat. For a day," he said sadly. "And everything was.perfect." 


	5. Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE The room was silent, everyone's eyes were trained on Angel who was lost in remembering the perfect day he and Buffy had shared together so long ago. Xander cleared his throat, trying to get Angel's attention. When that failed, Anya tried a less than subtle approach.  
  
"So, Angel, you and Buffy huh?"  
  
Giles tried not to groan, instead he silently thanked the higher powers that Buffy was currently asleep on his lap, keeping him from walking out of the room in disgust.  
  
"What? Oh.it would have been about two years ago. During thanksgiving. I came to Sunnydale, but I wouldn't let anyone tell Buffy that I was here, trying to protect her. I'm still not really sure how she found out I was here," Angel said, curiously.  
  
Xander slowly put up a hand. "Sorry."  
  
"She came to LA, she was.incredibly annoyed with me and.everything happened so quickly. We were attacked, by a Mohra demon, and some of its blood mixed with mine. It.well, it's blood has healing qualities, and.it made me human again."  
  
"So, you really did have a heartbeat," Willow said softly.  
  
Angel nodded. "Things were.terrific between Buffy and I. We didn't have to worry about the curse, we didn't have to worry about the fact that I was a vampire, but.I never really considered that I wouldn't have the strength and the power of healing that I had as a vampire. I tried to kill the Mohra demon, and I found that I couldn't. I was pretty much useless to this world as a human and.I was putting Buffy's life at risk. So I went to the Oracles, the beings that have contact with the Powers That Be, and I asked them to turn me back. So, they gave me back the day. Erased it from everyone's memory. Except mine."  
  
Even Xander winced at the implications of that. Angel and Buffy sharing a perfect day and no one remembering it except for Angel himself. That had to be painful.  
  
"Harsh," Anya finally commented, unsure of what else to say, but knowing that if no one said anything, then the room would be silent until Buffy woke up with a start.  
  
It was Willow who ran to Buffy's side, trying to get her to lay back down.  
  
Buffy looked at her sadly and touched the young Wicca's face.  
  
"So sorry Will," Buffy whispered.  
  
Willow looked at her, surprised. Why would Buffy be apologising to her when it was Willow who had caused Buffy's memory loss? Of course, Buffy wouldn't have remembered that even if she had have been told.  
  
"What for?" Willow asked softly.  
  
"Veruca," she said, her voice barely audible.  
  
Willow took a sharp intake of air, not having prepared herself to hear the name of the werewolf that had made Oz leave her. But that had been two years ago now.  
  
Willow smiled sadly and pushed back a strand of Buffy's hair, kissing the Slayer's forehead softly.  
  
"Doesn't matter Buffy."  
  
Buffy just nodded her head, trying to speak, but Willow hushed her gently.  
  
"You need to rest, kay Buffy? Just rest."  
  
Buffy nodded but kept her eyes open.  
  
"Water," she requested weakly.  
  
Giles was up and in the kitchen within seconds, fetching a glass of water. He sat quickly beside Buffy and helped her sit up, feeding her tiny sips of the cool liquid.  
  
No one in the room knew quite what to say and silence descended upon them once more.  
  
~*~  
  
Angel looked towards the clock on Giles' wall and stood up, looking towards Gunn and Wesley.  
  
"Sun's down. Let's go."  
  
Wesley and Gunn nodded and were on their feet instantly. Giles stood up as well, reluctantly leaving Buffy's side.  
  
"Spike's looking for the demon as well, with four of you out there, you might be able to take it down."  
  
Angel nodded and looked towards his team.  
  
"Are you sure you're prepared for this?" Giles asked.  
  
"I assure you Rupert, we wouldn't be here otherwise," Wesley said.  
  
Giles looked at the younger former Watcher, hesitated a moment, sizing him up, and then nodded.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The group moved swiftly out the door, each of them carrying several weapons.  
  
As soon as the door was shut, Giles began pacing across the room.  
  
"Calm down Tweed-man," Cordelia said tiredly. "Angel knows what he's doing. And I know that Wesley wasn't much when he was last in Sunnydale, but.a lot's changed since then."  
  
Giles looked at the girl who he had once considered a sheer snobbish spoiled child. He nodded his agreement. Things certainly had changed.  
  
________________________  
  
Spike walked through the cemetery, wishing he could be anywhere else but there. He wanted desperately to be at the Slayer's side, but he knew that he couldn't unless he wanted to be staked in the heart.  
  
He just wished that he could have been there when she relived the day that Willow had cast the spell that had caused them to become engaged. He laughed a little at the thought of the spell and the effects it had had.  
  
It seemed funny to look back on it now with fondness rather than with the disgust that he usually associated that day with.  
  
Spike heard a noise behind him and turned, his battle axe brandished high. He sighed as he saw who was behind him and reluctantly lowered his weapon.  
  
"Angelus," he greeted.  
  
Angel nodded hello and continued walking, Spike joining in the small barrage.  
  
"You realise if we don't get this bugger tonight, it'll kill her," Spike said quietly.  
  
Angel looked towards Spike sharply. "It won't come down to that. The Miedstayne's gotta come out of hiding to finish what he started. And when he does, we're going to be there. And we're going to kill it."  
  
Wesley and Gunn dropped behind the two vampires who had sped up their search. Gunn looked towards Wesley who was looking genuinely worried.  
  
"So, this chick we're trying to save.she's Angel's old flame?" Gunn asked.  
  
Wesley nodded. "Something like that."  
  
"You loved her too," Gunn commented.  
  
The young ex-Watcher nodded again. "Not like Angel did, but.yes. In my own way. She.she inspires such innate goodness in everyone. She made two vampires fall in love with her. I've seen far stronger men run to her aid, even when it wasn't needed."  
  
"And this Spike dude. He's cool, right? Vampire with a soul kinda deal as well?"  
  
Wesley shook his head and grimaced. "Not entirely."  
  
Gunn stopped walking and hit Wesley's arm. "Are you telling me that we're working with a cold-blooded blood sucking killer?"  
  
"Not entirely. Spike is.a rather interesting character. He's in love with the Slayer as well."  
  
Gunn just shook his head in confusion and continued walking. "Next you'll be telling me that old British guy loves her too."  
  
Wesley tried to keep the grin to himself as he stifled back a snort of laughter.  
  
"That's what he got fired for."  
  
~*~  
  
It was around twelve midnight before Xander, Anya and Cordelia could convince Giles to go to bed. It was Cordelia's tactless statement about Giles' inability to help Buffy if he was dead that convinced him to head up stairs and crawl onto the soft and welcoming mattress.  
  
It had only taken two minutes before Giles was in a deep sleep that his body had desperately needed.  
  
Xander, Anya and Cordelia settled themselves in the living room, a deck of cards sitting on the coffee table waiting to be shuffled. Dawn was curled in a ball on the couch and had been sleeping since earlier that evening.  
  
Willow was sitting in a corner, a book on her lap, but her eyes were staring at Buffy who was still sleeping restlessly. The Slayer seemed to be in a considerable amount of pain, both from the fever and from having her memories torn from her mind.  
  
No one had said it yet, but each of them had considered half of Buffy's condition to be Willow's fault.  
  
Willow half stood as she saw Buffy's eyes open. The drugged Slayer looked around the room tiredly, too exhausted to even try and struggle. Willow was at her side, holding a glass of water to Buffy's lips.  
  
The blonde girl drank slowly, savouring the coolness of the water inside her mouth.  
  
"I was right, you know," Buffy whispered, gaining the attention of the other three who now stared on in fascination.  
  
"About what?" Willow asked gently.  
  
"Kathy. She's a demon. She wanted.a soul. No one believed me," Buffy whispered.  
  
"Who's Kathy?" Cordelia mouthed across at Xander.  
  
"Later," he whispered.  
  
Cordelia nodded and went back to watching Buffy.  
  
"It's okay Buff. Kathy's gone. No more listening to Cher, I promise," Willow said.  
  
Buffy gave a tired grin. "Thank god for that."  
  
Buffy closed her eyes again and Willow lay a hand to the girl's forehead. "Sleep," she whispered.  
  
Willow stood up slowly and made her way back to where she had been sitting, ignoring the curious looks from the other three.  
  
"So.who's Kathy?" Cordelia asked again.  
  
"Buffy's room-mate who was actually a soul-sucking demon that was trying to take Buffy's soul. It kinda made her go crazy," Xander explained succinctly.  
  
"Angelus crazy?" Cordelia asked.  
  
Xander shook his head emphatically, then stopped to reconsider. "Sort of actually. She wanted to kill Kathy before she knew for sure that Kathy was a demon. It was sorta.scary. I've only seen her out of control once before."  
  
"Faith," Cordelia said sadly.  
  
Xander nodded and began dealing the cards.  
  
Cordelia looked towards the now sleeping form on the couch.  
  
"And I thought my life sucked," she commented sadly.  
  
Xander looked up at his ex girlfriend and smiled a little. "We don't know the half of it." 


	6. Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX  
  
"Back again I see," a voice from behind said.  
  
Spike and Angel turned to see the Miedstayne standing behind them, an evil glint in its eyes.  
  
"Oh, look.you've brought a friend."  
  
Spike scoffed and looked towards Angel. "Hardly what I'd call a friend, mate."  
  
The Miedstayne shrugged and looked between them.  
  
"You think you can kill me. You don't have the strength," the demon said cockily.  
  
Angel vamped out, Spike quickly following suit.  
  
"Let's put that theory of yours to the test, shall we?" Angel asked angrily, the blade of his sword cutting through the demon's slimy skin.  
  
A thick black liquid oozed out from the wound, puddling at the demon's feet and turning a light shade of green.  
  
From behind the demon, two war cries were sounded and the Miedstayne didn't even have the chance to turn around before it felt another sword pierce its chest and a battle axe cut through its neck.  
  
It fell to the ground, it's head half decapitated, blood running quickly from its body.  
  
"You think you can take down a Slayer and not piss people off?" Spike asked, swiftly kicking the dying demon in its injured side.  
  
He stepped back and looked towards Angel who looked satisfied that they had won the battle against the demon, and won it rather easily. Spike held out the sword in his hands.  
  
"You wanna finish this bastard off?" Spike offered.  
  
Angel grinned at him and shook his head. "I know you want to."  
  
Spike cocked his head to the side and nodded. With a primal growl, he brought the sword above his head and swung down, removing the demons head from its body.  
  
The group just watched as the body disintegrated into the earth.  
  
Spike clapped his hands together. "Right! Let's go tell Rupert the good news."  
  
________________________  
  
"Hey Giles, yer demon's dead," Spike announced happily as he walked through the front door. He went quickly to the sleeping Slayer's side and dropped to his knees, putting one cool hand against her forehead.  
  
Buffy shifted against the vampires cool touch, her eyes fluttering open at the disturbance. Before she had a chance to focus her eyesight properly, Angel had pushed Spike violently away from Buffy's side.  
  
Giles sent an apologetic glance towards Spike who tried to shrug it off nonchalantly, pretending he wasn't hurt by Buffy's inability to remember who he was to her.  
  
"Angel," Buffy whispered softly.  
  
The darker vampire smiled gently at her and bent down over her forehead, kissing her softly.  
  
"You're okay," she said, her voice hazy and tired.  
  
"I'm okay," he affirmed, fairly certain her knew what particular time in their lives she was referring to.  
  
"Faith?" she asked.  
  
He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.  
  
"She's fine. She's in jail."  
  
"I didn't kill her?"  
  
He shook his head and watched as her body seemed to relax completely. She gave him a small smile and closed her eyes.  
  
"Am I dying?" she whispered, afraid to open her eyes and see the true answer written in the depths of Angel's eyes.  
  
The room seemed to stop, no one daring to breathe as they waited for Angel to reply.  
  
"No, you're not," he said forcefully. "You're going to get better Buffy, I swear to you."  
  
She just nodded and opened her eyes with great effort. She looked past Angel to where Dawn was curled up, asleep on the couch.  
  
"Who's she?" Buffy asked.  
  
Angel grimaced as he saw who Buffy was looking at.  
  
"A friend," he replied, not wanting to confuse her by saying it was her sister.  
  
Buffy nodded, too exhausted to question any further.  
  
Spike shifted his weight on his feet and looked towards Giles impatiently.  
  
"Why's she still sick?" he asked testily.  
  
Giles took off his glasses and began polishing them, not wishing to see the pain in Spike's eyes. His actions only helped to fuel Spike's worry.  
  
"The demon's blood still has an affect on her for up to an hour after it's death. The blood's dying out which.unfortunately will be rather painful," Giles explained.  
  
"You mean it's hurting her even more now that it's dead?" Willow asked, horrified by the thought.  
  
Giles nodded sadly and replaced his glasses.  
  
"The blood takes about fifty minutes to die completely, which has no more of an effect than it has had since the beginning. After it's dead.Buffy's body will try to rid itself of the dead blood."  
  
"Uh.how?" Xander asked.  
  
Giles hesitated, not wishing to even think about the answer to that question.  
  
"Any way it can," Wesley replied, seeing the older Watcher's discomfort.  
  
All eyes in the room turned to look at him.  
  
"It's never been this complicated before," Wesley said. "Most Slayer's are able to defeat the Miedstayne before it infects them completely. Buffy's had the blood in her system for nearly two days now."  
  
Willow looked towards Giles nervously. "What's hurting her more?" she asked, her voice quiet and shaking.  
  
"The blood, but the spell isn't entirely pleasant for her either," Wesley told her, seeing Giles tense up and try not to glare at the young witch when reminded of the memory spell that she had cast.  
  
"Are we gonna reverse the spell?" Xander asked.  
  
Spike shot him a hateful look. "Yea, sure, if you want her dead again."  
  
Giles looked wearily at the blonde vampire and said his name, trying to get Spike to back off.  
  
Xander looked between the two British men and finally decided to turn to Wesley.  
  
"Why can't we reverse it?"  
  
"Simply put, right now it would kill her," Wesley said bluntly. "Her body's not strong enough to withstand such.painful memories."  
  
"Okay, so.we have to wait, I get that. But how long will we have to wait?" Cordelia asked bluntly.  
  
"Possibly another day," Giles said, moving to sit beside Buffy on the couch.  
  
The movement stirred Buffy from her sleep and she looked tiredly up at her Watcher.  
  
"Can you tell Wes," she whispered, her voice sticking in the back of her throat. "Take the fight to him."  
  
Giles placed a wet cloth over Buffy's forehead and whispered gentle words to her, assuring her that everything would be fine, that they would take down the Mayor and that everyone would be safe.  
  
Gunn looked towards his fighting partner curiously. "Uh.why are they taking the fight to you?"  
  
Wesley shook his head. "They weren't taking it to me. The attacks were aimed at the Mayor of Sunnydale."  
  
"Oh.why?"  
  
"He wanted to turn into a giant snake and eat everybody at graduation," Cordelia explained succinctly.  
  
Gunn just looked at the confused but eventually nodded. Even with all he had seen he knew he would never be able to grasp exactly how much went unseen in the city.  
  
Giles closed his eyes tiredly, wishing that he could be left alone to take care of Buffy. He opened his eyes and looked around at the group.  
  
"Perhaps it would be best if you all went home. There's nothing more you can do here tonight," he said.  
  
Most of the group hesitated, but eventually agreed.  
  
"I'll take the Nibblet home. I'll come back later, just to keep an eye out. If works got around about the Slayer being like this.wouldn't be good," Spike said.  
  
Giles nodded gratefully and watcher as the group departed, Willow generously offering Cordelia a place to stay the night.  
  
Angel, Wesley and Gunn headed off to the old mansion on Crawford Street while Xander and Anya when home to their apartment.  
  
Spike lifted Dawn up easily and carried her out to his car, trying not to wake the sleeping girl.  
  
Giles yawned and closed his eyes, close enough to Buffy so he could notice when she woke up, but still comfortable enough to sleep. Blessed unconsciousness finally claimed him.  
  
~*~  
  
"Faith no!" Buffy cried, her body shooting into a sitting position, the movement immediately waking Giles.  
  
Buffy threw off the blanket around her and stood up, her body trying to keep up with her mind and failing miserably. Giles raced to her side and sat her down, trying to keep her from attempting to stand again.  
  
"Buffy.Buffy, it's alright. Faith's fine. There's nothing to worry about," he soothed.  
  
"No.we.we killed him! It was an accident, I swear!" she cried, her panic rising as she realised what she had just told her Watcher.  
  
She took a deep breath and tried to clear her head, making an attempt to ignore the pounding in her head.  
  
"I know it was.it's alright Buffy. Accidents happen," he said calmly.  
  
Buffy just shook her head with an almost violent fervour. She stood again on shaky legs. Giles stood quickly and put a steading hand on her shoulder, ready to catch her if she fell.  
  
"I have to talk to her," Buffy said, her voice sounding unnervingly calm in comparison to what Giles had been hearing over the last few days.  
  
"No, Buffy, you're not well. You need to stay here," he said forcefully.  
  
She looked at him for a moment, her balance wavering as the room began to spin. She put a hand out on Giles arm trying to steady herself and closed her eyes.  
  
Her knees gave out from under her and Giles gently brought her to kneel on the ground.  
  
"What's happening to me?" she asked weakly, her eyes pleading with his.  
  
"A demon attacked you.it's blood's making you ill," he explained.  
  
"There's a cure right?" Her question came out fearfully, her eyes showing just how afraid she was.  
  
Giles nodded and wrapped the discarded blanket around her shoulders.  
  
"Angel and some others killed the demon that did this to you. You should be fine in about five minutes," he explained.  
  
He went to explain further but was interrupted by a demanding knocking at the door. Giles stood up and opened the door, surprised to see Spike rush inside just as the sunlight hit the front door.  
  
Buffy was on her feet in an instant, positioned in a weak fighting stance.  
  
"What's he doing here?" Buffy asked, confused.  
  
Spike looked at her pained and shrugged. "Just got some info for your Watcher. Nothing to worry about pet."  
  
Buffy continued to glare at him but dropped her fists. She sat back down on the couch but kept her eyes trained on him, ready to move if the vampire attacked.  
  
"She alright?" Spike asked quietly.  
  
Giles just shook his head sadly. "You killed the Miedstayne about forty five minutes ago so.the fever should peak in the next five minutes before her body tried to rid itself of the blood."  
  
"I know the whelp asked earlier, but I think that Giles junior was trained in how to dodge questions. How exactly is the blood gonna get out?"  
  
Giles hesitated and looked towards where Buffy was sitting on the couch, her head in her hands.  
  
"The best way for it to get out will be that she'll simply throw it up," Giles said.  
  
Spike grimaced and cast a sympathetic look towards Buffy.  
  
"And the other ways?" Spike asked.  
  
"Uh.well, it would be best to keep her away from sharp objects," Giles said.  
  
Spike looked horrified at the implications of what was being said. He looked up at the clock at the exact moment Buffy doubled over in pain, falling off the couch and onto her knees.  
  
"Get it out!" she screamed.  
  
Spike was at her side in an instant, keeping her hands from scratching at her face. Giles raced to the coffee table and retrieved a syringe with a sedative in it, quickly administering it to the still struggling Buffy.  
  
She fought with them both for a moment longer before the sedative kicked in and her body went slack.  
  
"Just keep hold of her," Giles warned as Spike began to loosen his grip.  
  
His warning came just in time as Buffy's body went into violent convulsions. Spike held her down firmly and could only watch in horror as Buffy began to choke.  
  
Giles came to Buffy's side and gently held her body forward, a bucket below her chin. It took only moments before the Slayer began retching, mouthfuls of blood coming out from her lips.  
  
"He didn't lose that bloody much," Spike commented.  
  
"No, I imagine not. The blood attaches itself to the hosts blood and multiplies, that's why she was becoming weaker," Giles explained.  
  
It was several minutes before Buffy was able to lie down once more, sleep claiming her body as her fever went away, almost in an instant, the demon's blood completely gone from her body.  
  
Spike smiled as he watcher her sleeping naturally without a fever.  
  
"You should sleep Rupert," Spike said.  
  
Giles nodded gratefully and headed up the stairs for the first time in days. He fell gracelessly onto his bed and didn't wake up for nearly twelve hours.  
  
~*~  
  
Spike silently watched over the Slayer, intermittently feeding her small sips of water, Buffy's exhaustion so great that she didn't even question why Spike was helping her.  
  
Her temperate finally came down until it was completely normal, and each time she woke, she seemed to be more aware of where she was. She stirred a little and opened her eyes groggily.  
  
"I'll go get your Watcher pet," Spike whispered, when he felt it would be better for Giles to be looking after her.  
  
Buffy sat up, looking panicked at the suggestion.  
  
"No!"  
  
Spike looked at her, wondering why Buffy would feel more comfortable being taken care of by the blond vampire than by her Watcher.  
  
He didn't get a chance to ask her for answer, as Giles walked down the stairs looking considerably more awake. The Watcher smiled softly at Buffy.  
  
She shot him a look of hurt and betrayal, and Giles smile immediately fell. She stood up shakily and moved away from Giles.  
  
Spike could only look between the two of them, wondering what memory of Buffy's could possibly make her step back from her mentor.  
  
"Buffy," Giles said softly, his voice unable to convey his regret for the actions that he had den o cause Buffy to back away. The Cruciamentum. The biggest mistake he had ever made as Buffy's Watcher, the archaic test that the Council had set on Buffy to test her skills as the Slayer.  
  
"Stay the hell away from me," Buffy warned angrily.  
  
Spike noticed that Buffy's hands were clenched in fists, her body shaking with anger and betrayal.  
  
"Buffy, you don't understand," Giles said slowly, hating to replay this memory of hers with her. He had forgotten all about how hard this had been on their relationship at the time, and he had been hoping to reverse the spell before they had to relive this moment in their lives.  
  
"How can you explain it you asshole? You tried to kill me!" she yelled, close to tears.  
  
"It wasn't like that," Giles said, trying to plead with his Slayer.  
  
Buffy just shook her head and let a tear slip down her cheesk.  
  
"Nothing you say can make me understand," she said sadly.  
  
Giles breathed in, trying to remind himself that within seconds she woud forget that she had been betrayed by him.  
  
Buffy spun around, wanting to get out from Giles' apartment as soon as possible, but before she could get anywhere, her legs gave out from beneath her. She fell forward, grabbing onto the couch to stable herself.  
  
Both Giles and Spike rushed forward to her aide, but she pushed them both away. She sat down to steady herself, still glaring at her Watcher.  
  
"If you touch me, I'll kill you."  
  
Giles breathed in sharply and walked past away, trying to regain his composure. He silently looked towards Spike, telling him not to let Buffy leave.  
  
He emerged from the kitchen moments later with a pot of tea and three cups. He gently handed a cup to Buffy who took it gratefully.  
  
"We'll work this out right?" she asked softly.  
  
He nodded and gently touched her shoulder.  
  
"I know we will," he said.  
  
Buffy shuffled closer to Giles and curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked.  
  
"Of course," he said, a little bewildered at the request, but unable to deny her anything.  
  
Buffy smiled and closed her eyes tiredly.  
  
Spike coughed a little when he could tell that Buffy had drifted off to sleep.  
  
"What the hell was that about Watcher?" Spike asked.  
  
Giles shook his head, not wishing to go into any details of the hardest test he had ever had to give.  
  
"Doesn't matter. We should try to reverse the spell the next time she wakes up," Giles said, deliberately changing the topic.  
  
Spike noticed the obvious change, but decided to let it slide.  
  
"Are you gonna get Red to do it?" Spike asked.  
  
"She won't be doing anymore magic for a very long time I'd wager. But, she'll be here when I reverse it," Giles said. "She needs to see the consequences of such foolish magic."  
  
"What sort of consequences?" Spike asked worriedly.  
  
Giles hesitated but finally decided that the vampire could handle the truth.  
  
"That it hurts others," Giles said simply.  
  
"She knows that now. She's seen Buffy," Spike said.  
  
Giles shook his head. "She's seen the affect of the demon's blood and the spell combined. She needs to see exactly what she's done."  
  
Giles gently pushed Buffy away and stood up, making his was to the phone.  
  
"She'll only realise exactly what she's done when she sees the results." 


	7. Chapter Seven

CHAPTER SEVEN  
  
Willow opened the door to Giles' apartment and snuck inside. Spike shot her a sympathetic glanced as she sat down in the awkward silence and waited for Buffy to awaken.  
  
Giles looked at Willow and frowned noticeably. He shuffled uncomfortably, making Buffy begin to stir from his movements.  
  
The young woman curled next to him and opened her eyes. She smiled as she took in her surroundings. Thankfully Spike was sitting behind Buffy's line of vision so as not to startle her completely when she finally got all of her strength back.  
  
Willow managed to send a weak grin back to Buffy when Buffy grinned widely at her. On seeing Buffy's carefree smile for the first time in months, she felt a stab of guilt run through her stomach.  
  
"Buffy you need to stand up," Giles said, gently pushing her to her feet.  
  
She stood up as instructed and continued to watch her Watcher as he moved around the room collecting ingredients.  
  
"Ooo, spells," Buffy said. "Need any help?"  
  
Giles shook his head as he placed the last item onto the table.  
  
"I just need you to kneel in the middle of the circle," Giles explained to her.  
  
She looked at him sceptically, but complied with his request. She knelt down, ensuring she was completely inside the circle.  
  
"What's this for?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Just a spell to help you," Giles explained.  
  
She nodded, shrugging and looked at him expectantly. "I still expect a Christmas pressie though," she said with a grin.  
  
He smiled back, trying to recall what memories she would have of Christmas from two years ago. The Christmas where Angel had tried to kill himself in the sun, but the unexpected blizzard had come up. Thankfully her memory hadn't gone back any further, or else Spike would have been a dusty pile on the couch he sat in. A month earlier was when Spike had returned to convince Willow to do a spell to regain Dru.  
  
"So, what do I gotta do?" she asked.  
  
"Just uh.just stay inside the circle," he said.  
  
"Gotta love the easy jobs," she commented and made herself more comfortable.  
  
From behind her, Giles sprinkled a mystical herb over her shoulder.  
  
"The spell was cast, The warrior set free. Restore the memories past And let the spell broken be. Asor Alubat."  
  
Giles stopped and stepped in front of Buffy, waiting for the spell to take affect.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and looked up at him.  
  
"Uh.I don't know what that was meant to do, but I don't think it worked."  
  
Willow looked towards Giles worriedly but calmed down a little when she saw confidence written over his face.  
  
Without warning, Buffy doubled over, screaming in pain, her hands going to cover her ears, trying to stop the multitude of screaming voices yelling at her. She fell to the ground in pain, her body shaking, screams still coming from her mouth.  
  
Willow went to rush to her, but Spike grabbed hold of her before she could get into the circle.  
  
"Stay outside the circle," Giles warned.  
  
Spike could tell that Giles was worried for Buffy. It wasn't often that you saw the Slayer in so much pain and so utterly helpless.  
  
Tears slipped down Willow's face as she saw how much pain her friend was in.  
  
The screaming suddenly stopped and Buffy was clutching her chest, coughing violently as though she was trying to retch. She collapsed into tears, her body shaking, reminding Spike of the convulsions he head seen her in earlier.  
  
"Make it stop," Buffy whispered, her arms around herself in a meagre attempt of comfort.  
  
"You're nearly there pet," Spike said encouragingly.  
  
It was another five minutes before the voices departed and Buffy was laying completely still within the circle, her breathing short and shallow.  
  
"Is she."  
  
"She'll be fine in about an hour. She'll be pissed as hell, but she'll be fine," Giles said, his anger flaring.  
  
"Giles, please.I'm sorry, I didn't know-"  
  
"I don't want to hear it!" he yelled. "What you did was selfish and horribly dangerous. You put Buffy at great risk, and you yourself saw how much pain she was in because of you."  
  
"I didn't mean-"  
  
"I will not explain your mistakes, do you understand me?" Giles asked, his voice full of bitterness.  
  
Willow nodded sadly and sat herself down on the couch as Giles gently picked up the prone form of the Slayer. He carried her swiftly up the stairs and placed her in his bed before returning to the kitchen to make tea.  
  
~*~  
  
There was a painfully awkward silence in the living room for the next hour and a half as they waited for Buffy to awaken. Willow was forcing herself not to cry in front of Giles lest he begin screaming once more.  
  
Spike was pacing at the bottom of the staircase, positioned to move quickly if he needed to.  
  
Giles sat with his notebook in his hands, reading off the events that Buffy had been remembering. It wasn't often that he thought back over how much the group had been through over the years.  
  
The last on his list was the hardest to think about. The Cruciamentum. He had hated putting Buffy through it and had despised himself the second he had injected her with the serum that had almost killed her.  
  
To have it so painfully dredged up, in front of Spike of all people, was making him feel an onslaught of guilt.  
  
Spike looked up the stairs suddenly and began running, taking the stairs two at a time. Willow and Giles shared a look, almost forgetting the tension between them, until Willow looked away guiltily.  
  
Spike threw open the door to Giles bedroom and raced to Buffy's side as she slowly began to wake up. She saw him beside her and couldn't' help but smile.  
  
"Hey," she greeted softly.  
  
"Hey," he replied, a smile dancing on his face. "You okay?"  
  
"Been better," she replied, trying to bring herself to sit upright. Spike gently helped her, sitting next to her on the bed.  
  
"Can't say as I blame you pet," he said softly. He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You've had it rough for a few days pet."  
  
"I remember," she said, grimacing at the pain in her pounding head.  
  
"You remember all of it?" he asked.  
  
"Unfortunately," she replied. "Look, I'm sorry about-"  
  
"No, don't. You have nothing to apologise for," he said.  
  
She smiled at him weakly. "I know, but.I am sorry."  
  
"Already forgotten anyway luv," he said.  
  
She smiled gratefully and went to stand up. "Help me downstairs?"  
  
Spike hesitated but nodded, knowing that once she had her mind set on something it would be impossible to not grant her request. He helped her remove the bedcovers and gently brought her to a shaky standing position.  
  
"Go easy on Red alright," Spike said.  
  
Buffy looked at him and sighed, not wanting to deal with a guilty Willow at that point in time. "I don't know if I can go easy on her Spike. I just.I don't understand why she couldn't just leave it. I was trying to get better, but.it was just taking a bit longer than she thought it would. She hurt me really badly Spike," Buffy said. "I didn't even recognise my own sister."  
  
"I know pet. And the whelp already had a go at her. Your Watcher's not one to mince words either," Spike said with a grin.  
  
She smiled back and let him guide her to the door.  
  
"You've seen him in Ripper mode. Nothing can stop him," Buffy said, almost proudly.  
  
Spike opened the door and went to help her down the stairs. He saw how slowly she was taking them, and in one swift move he picked her up and carried her to the bottom, ignoring her protests.  
  
"Buffy you should be resting," Giles said as Spike deposited her on the couch.  
  
"Giles, I can rest down here. And I've done two days straight of sleeping on the couch. I don't know how much more rest a girl can stand."  
  
Giles smiled and gave in, handing Buffy a cup of tea. She took it gratefully and settled down on the couch beside Spike, his arm placed casually behind her on the back of the couch.  
  
"Where's Dawn?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Tucked in bed at home," Spike answered.  
  
"Uh.who's watching her?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Tara's there with her," Giles said.  
  
Willow flinched slightly at the mention of Tara's name, but tried to cover it up by attempting to relax on the couch.  
  
She sat watching Buffy on the couch, unable to bring herself to look her friend in the eyes. She knew that there was a good chance that this would be the end of their entire six year friendship.  
  
"Will," Buffy started, uncertain of what she wanted to say, but knowing that Willow would never be able to begin such a hard conversation.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Willow cried, standing up suddenly. She wanted to race into the bathroom and just cry her eyes out, but she knew that it wouldn't help the matter at all. "I didn't know that this would happen. I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"I know," Buffy said softly. "But.what you did."  
  
"I was wrong, I know that," Willow cried.  
  
"You were wrong," Giles snapped, shocking Buffy as well as Willow. "You've been using too much magic."  
  
"I was trying to help," Willow exclaimed. "I was trying to make you happier."  
  
Buffy gave a gentle smile at her friend. "Don't you remember the last time you tried to make the pain go away? I ended up engaged!"  
  
"That was different," Willow said.  
  
Spike looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "How?"  
  
Willow paused, hoping for an explanation to come from her mouth. None came.  
  
"I told you that you had to go through the pain. That it would take time," Buffy said gently. "And I was trying to go through this Will. I know that it was taking a lot of time, but.it was hard to adjust. I didn't need to forget.I just wanted some more time."  
  
Willow wiped away her tears and sniffled miserably.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I was trying to make up for what I did to you. I just hurt you even more."  
  
Buffy smiled gently. "You're forgiven. But, Giles is right. You have been using too much magic."  
  
"I'll stop, I swear," Willow cried.  
  
"That's not entirely necessary," Giles interjected. "Perhaps if you just used it for higher purposes such as.well, stopping demons and averting an apocalypse or two."  
  
"Maybe stick with the small spells pet," Spike suggest, giving the young with a wink.  
  
She smiled and wiped her eyes once more. She walked hesitantly to where Buffy sat, leaning down to give her friend a hug which Buffy returned tightly.  
  
"I really am sorry," Willow said again.  
  
"I know," Buffy said. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner about what really happened."  
  
"It's okay.I understand," Willow said.  
  
Buffy nodded gratefully and breathed a sigh of relief. She turned to look at Spike.  
  
"Could you drive me home?" she asked. "I'd feel a bit safer if I was there with Dawn as well."  
  
Spike nodded and helped Buffy to her feet.  
  
Giles smiled and walked towards Buffy, touching her shoulder comfortingly. She smiled as brightly as her state of tiredness would let her and pulled him into a hug.  
  
"Don't torture yourself over what you were forgiven for years ago," Buffy told him.  
  
He smiled gently, amazed that she could read him so well.  
  
"I think it might be best if you gave patrolling a miss for tonight," Giles suggested. "Leave it up to Angel's crew."  
  
Buffy nodded, too tired to even think about patrolling. "I'll be out tomorrow night though," she said.  
  
"Of course," Giles agreed. "If you'd like to come and train tomorrow, I think that could be useful."  
  
Buffy nodded, trying to remember the last time that they had trained together. She wouldn't have been surprised if the last time had been before her mother had died.  
  
"I'll be here as soon as I get Dawn off to school," Buffy said.  
  
Giles nodded and watched as Spike escorted Buffy to the door.  
  
"Night," Buffy called out.  
  
Willow and Giles called out their goodbyes simultaneously, and watched as Spike and buffy left together. Willow sighed and sat down on Giles couch waiting for another lecture that never came.  
  
~*~ "So." Spike started nervously as he pulled up in front of Buffy's house and stopped the engine, pulling his helmet off his head. He quickly dismounted the motorbike and helped Buffy to the ground.  
  
"Look, about the other night," Buffy began, taking off her own helmet and passing it to Spike.  
  
Spike felt himself tense up at the mention of what had happened between them after the dancing demon has left them. The kiss.  
  
"It was-"  
  
"A mistake," Spike said, cutting her off. "Yeah, yeah, I already bloody know. Should never have happened, I'm a soulless bloodsucking fiend, etcetera etcetera. I'll just forget it ever happened."  
  
She looked at him, her eyebrows raised in amusement.  
  
"Well, that wasn't quite the angle I was gonna take but.if you've got your heart set on forgetting then.who am I to stop you," she said, grinning at him.  
  
He looked at her, completely puzzled by what she was implying.  
  
"You sure Red hasn't done another spell on you? You remember how well that turned out last time," he said, a little unconvinced.  
  
Buffy sighed dramatically. "If you're not interested you can just say so."  
  
Spike almost choked on his surprise. "You're joking right? Me, not interested? I've only been in love with you for the past nine months!" he exclaimed.  
  
She smiled and took his hand in hers.  
  
"Oh, and all that other stuff about you being soulless and bloodsucking, well.you've changed. I know what you were like in the past and.it doesn't matter to me," she said.  
  
Spike smiled hesitantly, wondering when he was going to wake up from this dream world he was in.  
  
"So.you're saying that.you'd be willing to.to be with me?" he asked.  
  
She grinned at the started expression on his face.  
  
'You make life interesting."  
  
He nodded, a pleased smile coming to his face. "Good to hear it pet."  
  
She let go of his hand and went to turn to walk inside.  
  
"Wait a sec," Spike cried, grabbing hold of her wrist and pulling her to him.  
  
She let herself fall into his arms, his lips capturing hers easily, both of them sinking comfortably into the presence of the other. They broke apart slowly and Buffy smiled a little shyly.  
  
"I'll see ya," she said, attempting to be casual and failing miserably.  
  
"Tomorrow?" he asked, smiling boyishly at her.  
  
She paused and eventually nodded. "There's one thing I hafta do but.it won't take too long. Hopefully," she said.  
  
He raised a scarred eyebrow at her questioningly. "Anxious to see me again?"  
  
She laughed a little and kissed him gently. "Always," she said, half joking. "I kinda need to talk to Angel."  
  
Spike's face fell and if it was possible we would have felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.  
  
"Angel," he repeated, almost spitting out the name hatefully.  
  
"Hey, you've got nothing to worry about. I just need to talk to him. But.after that, I'm all yours," she said.  
  
"You do know that I'm not just fooling around here, right? I need you to know how serious this is to me," Spike said, his voice sounding worried.  
  
"Spike, the last relationship you had lasted for over a century. I kinda get the impression that you're a long haul kinda guy," she said.  
  
He felt a load drop from his shoulder and he smiled thankfully.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
He nodded and watched as she walked towards her front door. She stopped before walking inside. She turned to look at Spike, smiling at him softly, thankful that things were finally going to get better. She gave a final wave and walked inside.  
  
Spike grinned, hardly able to believe his luck. Who woulda thought.Spike and the Slayer? He gave a small laugh and revved his bike, riding off into the darkness, a smile still dancing on his face.  
  
Life was good.  
  
END 


End file.
